Hypergamy, serial monogamy, and involuntary celibacy: Is there a connection?

(content warning: Happy Valentine’s Day!  Let’s talk about culture war, inequality, and loneliness.)

For the first time, I made some effort to promote a post on this blog, and I was rewarded with some interesting discussion on r/slatestarcodex.

To recap: The modern sense of the term “hypergamy”, popular mostly on right-leaning parts of the internet, means that women mate across and up dominance hierarchies whereas men mate across and down.  Some have claimed that, in the absence of monogamous norms, hypergamy makes sexual outcomes highly unequal; sometimes this is described as “20 percent of men getting 80 of the sex.”  In my prior post, I narrowed in on a particular set of claims about hypergamy and showed that they are probably not true.

Somewhat to my surprise, no one took issue with any of the data I presented or any of the concrete conclusions I drew from it. I’m satisfied that I made a strong case that hypergamy, in the narrow sense I described, does not exist.

What surprised me is that a lot of people thought I was arguing against weak man, and said that most people in the manosphere don’t actually believe in the theory I argued against.  The most common criticism was that the reason we don’t currently see harem-forming sexual behavior is that monogamy is a currently-enforced social norm, and that the Chad/Stacy dystopia is something that could happen in the future if we stop enforcing it.

I’ll talk about the implications of that broader, more plausible view of hypergamy shortly, with specific attention to issues involving involuntary celibacy, but first I’m going to show that many prominent people in the manosphere believe in the extreme version I originally argued against.

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Not a Simpsons reference: Chicken tenders breaded with pork rinds.

Bacon up that sausage, boy!

When I was a 90’s kid, I read a book on the Atkins Diet.  Twenty years later, science still haven’t resolved whether low-carb diets are a good idea, but what really stuck with me was the recipe for fried chicken that used crumbled pork rinds as breading.  What stopped me was not fear, but rather, inability to make good fried chicken.  The air fryer removed the last obstacle, and here is the result:


The vegetable is spiralized zucchini, air-fryed with spices but no batter.  I battered the chicken with egg and pork rinds, and unshockingly, it was pretty damned good.

Tofu poke bowls.

(I’ve been too busy with programming projects lately to do much writing, but here’s some food-based filler.)


Poke bowls are delicious, but they are also expensive and not especially good for the environment. So I’ve been working on an alternative that’s, with slight variations, vegan, vegetarian, or at least mostly soy-based.

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Two lists compiled by someone who’s arguably sort of a health administrator.

Jobs David Graeber thinks are bullsh*t:

  • Washing dogs.
  • Delivering pizza at night.
  • Corporate law.
  • Academic and health administration.
  • Human resources.
  • Public relations.
  • Professional work.
  • Managerial work.
  • Clerical work.
  • Sales work.
  • Service work.
  • Frying fish.
  • Whatever the verb is for what bailiffs do.


Jobs David Graeber thinks aren’t bullsh*t:

  • Factory work.
  • Farming.
  • Making cabinets.
  • Composing unsuccessful poetry and music.
  • Teaching.
  • Dock work.
  • Writing science fiction or playing ska music (presented as edge cases.)
  • Being an anthropology professor (implied.)


I’m almost certain that some of his opinions are defensible.