8 comments on “Modern hypergamy is probably not a real thing.

  1. McMuster says:

    Manosphere predictions about “20% of guys getting 80% of the ass” are typically qualified with “in an environment without monogamy”

    So, not finding evidence of harem forming in contemporary society isn’t too big of a shock considering we still “enforce” monogamy. eg. Forming relationships with multiple people is still called “cheating” by the majority of society. The moderating effect of “one at a time” is still in effect.

    I doubt we can find any good quantitative data on poly communities. But I doubt such groups would be useful for answering this question given such groups already filter for Affluent, Attractive and Libertine. There’s no guarantee their group dynamics would scale to the general population.

    Polygamous cultures would be an interesting place to look. But that’s not a great example either as these are typically traditional societies with traditional courtship norms. However, the historical rarity of polyandry vs the near ubiquity of polygyny doesn’t really point towards an equitable outcome in the absence of monogamy.

  2. Thanks for the feedback. This definitely seems to be the most common criticism on the Reddit thread, and it’s one that my pre-posting reviewer brought up. I guess I should have listened to him, eh? I disagree insofar as I don’t think most manosphere writers qualify their claims in quite the way you’re describing, but I think I’ll try to address that in a future post.

  3. Quiet says:

    There is also the possibility that we’re observing apparent symmetry because men adjust their behavior in order to force the symmetry to exist. An analogy: if the crime statistics for an area are low, it could be because crime is low, or it could be because everyone avoids the area since it’s dangerous. In the same way, a lot of men report feeling pressure to be the primary earner. If men have to work (say) twice as hard as women to end up with an even partnership, that’d probably give rise to feelings of resentment.

    I know that personally, in an ideal world, I’d like to be a stay at home dad and homeschool my kids. But I feel extremely confident that I wouldn’t be able to succeed on the marriage market if I were transparent about that desire, because many women use careers as a proxy for male competence and overall status.

    I don’t think this angle would change the picture TOO much, but I do think it’s worth considering.

    • Quiet says:

      “could be because crime is low” should read “could be because the area is genuinely safe”

    • Thanks for the feedback. Yeah, that kind of thing was what I was trying to hint at near the end, when I talk about the difference between objective and subjective symmetry. It’s clearly the case that women don’t have to do the same kind of work as men do when it comes to dating; my personal opinion is that’s balanced by their having to do more of other kinds of dating-related work. But I understand why that would seem irrelevant to, say, a very shy or financially unsuccessful man who has a hard time doing the specific kind of work that dating requires of him. That was me in my early twenties, though for the most part I managed to keep a lid on resentment.

  4. Chad and Stacy, in the popular stereotype, are the most typically attractive males and females. But what if the most promiscuous women aren’t the most attractive women?

    https://www.hookingupsmart.com/2013/02/12/hookinguprealities/the-most-attractive-women-have-the-least-casual-sex/

    Apologies for the source there: it links to a paywalled paper so I can’t directly link or confirm that the conclusions are correct. But I think that the question itself is worth raising and needs to be taken into consideration.

  5. Rick O'Shay says:

    Here, why do you not try replying to the Great Popp.

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